But these are just symptoms. The key of the problem lies elsewhere

From my 10 years of experience with the mental preparation of tennis players, I highlight two main problems for tennis players:

1 - General mental inconsistency

2 - Self-doubt

In fact, mental inconsistency is characteristic of children and teenagers due to their age

– A player has not yet learned how to control himself, manage his emotional state, because he simply does not know how to do it.

For him, freaking out in case of a loss and being afraid seems the only possible and logical option for his behaviour

A tournament is a very stressful event for most children

And if your child has never worked with a sports mental coach and no one has taught him how to deal with stress…

What do you expect from him? Even adult players lose control of their emotions in such situations.

Let's think realistically: a miracle will not happen - a player himself will not learn to think correctly and control his emotional state, or he will take a very long time

And as practice shows, parents also cannot teach mental consistency, and most often only break the psycho-emotional state of a junior

Yelling at a child only scares him more. He only becomes more and more afraid

I am silent about the fact that attempts to independently teach your child emotional self-control often lead to arguments in a family

• does not want to listen to your advice
• Is nervous
• even more frightened and closed
• offended

hassle

crying

frustration

arguments/bad experience

Self-doubt is the second problem that prevents you or your child tennis player from winning

• children
• teenagers
• adult players
• and even professional players

1 - Increase self-esteem

A lot of players come to me with self-esteem issues. And in order to “raise” it, they learn how to:

– value yourself as a person and do not put “=” between your results and self-esteem.

– Rely on past positive experience and do not devalue your skills and abilities.

– Perceive yourself as strong and worthy of victories.

– Pay attention to your successful actions during a game, and not to mistakes.

2 - Easy attitude to mistakes

This is almost the main point of growth in self-confidence for any athlete

If mistakes are the “end of the world” for your child and he unwittingly attaches great importance to them, then in a game it will be very difficult to take risks and put pressure on his opponent

1 - He is afraid to make a mistake and is focused not on the game, but on his experiences - attention goes to the wrong place and therefore just makes a mistake

2 - And after any mistake, feels like a loser and reinforces self-doubt.

It is important to take mistakes and losses calmly, draw conclusions and play on

But as practice shows, this can be achieved only after a sufficiently long work on thinking in an atmosphere where they do not complain for mistakes and give feedback on the game (as we have in groups with students, for example)

3 - Development of the concept of a strong personality

Your child must understand that he can solve absolutely any problem in a match, beat any opponent (even the strongest).

And the ability to find a solution in difficult situations and in seemingly losing matches is the same skill as serving or receiving, which is easily acquired with proper training.

The three factors I have described build a sense of self-confidence in your child and are at the heart of the “Winner's Mindset” - a method that, having mastered, a player will easily defeat stronger opponents and feel cool even in stressful situations.

If your child does not believe in himself, considers himself a loser, is afraid of mistakes in tennis, then it will be the same in life...

Tournament wins and losses affect how you perceive yourself as a whole

A child who constantly loses at tennis perceives himself as a loser:

• at school (afraid to express his opinion, raise his hand, go to the blackboard)
• in communication with friends (feels stuck and weak)

Also adults who are used to losing and have resigned themselves to the fact that they don't succeed at much, unconsciously set themselves up for failure in

• their work
• relationships
• and other areas of life

«I don't plan on becoming a pro tennis player, I don't need mental toughness. I train only for pleasure and not to compete.»

OR

«My child won't become a pro tennis player, he doesn't need mental preparation. They practice for their overall development.»

Because the results in tennis directly affect the overall emotional state.

If you are a tennis player, failures in a match make you feel depressed

If your child is a tennis player, his failures in sports become the cause of family arguments and unsuccessful attempts to persuade him to continue practicing

As a result, the mood deteriorates for everyone

AGAINST:

A player who is confident and mentally stable in tennis behaves confidently and feels stable in everyday life:

• At work, he confidently expresses his wishes and asks for a promotion without hesitation

• In relationships, he defends his personal boundaries

• Emotional situations do not throw him off balance

If it's a child:

• at school, he actively participates in the classroom, raises his hand and answers

• does not freak out after each assessment, but knows how to fix it

• at home, he is not annoyed from every little thing, but knows how to control his emotional state

• is able to find solutions in difficult life situations and the shortest ways to achieve the goal

He has a lot of friends. His victories are admired. He becomes a winner in tennis and in life

No matter how difficult it may be, it is important to realize that you are not an authority for your child in tennis!

Why?

Even if you give what you think are correct recommendations, they are not suitable for the player. Simply due to the fact that you do not know all the specifics of the game

If you don't practice tennis yourself, you won't be able to imagine how a player feels on the court

Accordingly, the player's confidence in you is reduced. He will not accept your opinion, even if it is actually correct. The child will only begin to move away and close in communication, feeling that you do not understand him

Therefore, a person who specializes in a particular sport, who knows this sport from the inside, should work on the child’s thinking

This is the reason why I do not recommend going to a general sports mental coach: in most cases, he still does not understand the specifics of the tennis game

Therefore, in my work I use the Winner's Mindset method and knowledge of tennis strategy and tactics in a complex way

Thanks to this, the child sees that the specialist understands him, and therefore trusts his recommendations

SECOND REASON - CHAOS

…or the lack of a system of consistent actions that will lead to the desired result

You seem to understand what to do, how to think. But you don't know what steps to take in what order to achieve the goal

You waste a lot of time and energy on unnecessary thoughts. Or you could just turn to a specialist who will guide your child on a direct path to the goal

I have a story connected with this phrase. In 2014, at a tournament in Cyprus, I met the father of a 9-year-old tennis player. The boy's name is Alex

He was talented, but his behaviour on the court left much to be desired: constant screaming, stress, broken rackets

They lived and trained in Germany. The boy's father spent about $35,000 a year on tennis.

But in fact, this money was thrown into the wind. Indeed, due to mental inconsistency in tournaments, the boy rarely went beyond the 1st round

At that tournament, I asked his father, “Why don’t you work with a sports mental coach?”

To which he replied that he did not see the need for this, because is CONVINCED that everything should pass by itself. At that tournament, the boy flew out in the 1st round from a weaker opponent, who, although he did not play aggressively, did it consistently.

His opponent was a boy from Ireland, a year younger and lower in ranking. Do you think his behaviour and mindset have changed?

No! The behaviour has not changed, but only became worse! In that match, he made a real circus:

- accused the referee and the opponent of cheating (although everything was fair, I was a witness)

- shouted swear words to the whole court (for which he first received 2 warnings and a point penalty)

- broke his racket and was fined a whole game

As a result, he lost 3:6 1:6 to a weaker opponent who did nothing special: he simply used Alex's mental inconsistency.

If you don't work on mental toughness, nothing will change

The belief that the problem will go away on its own is an illusion

And finally the main question...